Every single one of us engages in self-sabotage. Yep, even me.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve promised myself I’d get up early to work out, only to hit snooze and roll over. The excuses come flooding in: “I’m too tired”, “I don’t know what exercises to do”, “I don’t have time”. Sound familiar?

If you follow me on social media, you know that I’m now an avid morning exerciser. I get up five days a week at 5:00 AM to be ready for a workout or a run by 6:00 AM.

So, what changed?

I decided to become someone who exercises in the morning for my mental and physical health. Then, I made it happen.

I overcame my resistance by calling myself out on my own excuses. Changing your habits means changing your identity, and that doesn’t come with shortcuts.

To quote Nike, you just do it.

What is resistance?

Resistance is the term I use with clients when I see self-sabotaging patterns emerge. You know that feeling when your logical brain wants to eat healthy or start an exercise routine, but your lizard brain is screaming, “YOU DON’T HAVE TIME!”. Without the right tools, that lizard brain wins 9 out of 10 times.

Why does our brain do this? It doesn’t make sense—exercise is good for us! Unfortunately, it makes perfect sense. Let me explain.

Our brains evolved to be efficient. Efficiency doesn’t mean healthy or good; it just means the brain sticks to well-worn paths. Your habit of eating potato chips in the evening to deal with emotions is just an efficient solution your brain has used thousands of times. It’s an established neuro-pathway.

Why would your brain spend energy building a new path when it already has one that works so well?

It wouldn’t—unless you force it. That’s why those thoughts pop up like, “It’s just a few chips.”, or “I’ll work out tomorrow.”.

Enter resistance. Your brain resists change because it’s new, it’s a threat, it hasn’t deemed it safe, and it’s certainly not efficient. This system worked great when we were hunter-gatherers surveying the area for threats, but it makes it tough to live a healthy life now.

How do you resist?

The first step to plowing through your resistance is to understand how it typically shows up for you—a.k.a. your patterns. One of my favorite quotes from my NLP Life Coaching training is:

“Once is a fluke, twice is a pattern, third time is DEFINITELY a pattern.”

Here are the 5 most common resistance patterns I see in my coaching practice:

1. Time: “I don’t have time.”
2. Knowledge: “I don’t have enough information.”
3. Energy: “I’m too tired.”
4. Priority: “I’m not important enough.”
5. Perfection: “I’m not doing it right.”

Did any of these hit home for you? That’s likely your dominant resistance pattern. If you’re still unsure, there’s an exercise at the end of this blog to help you pinpoint your key patterns.

Personally, I tend to get stuck in the “knowledge” pattern. I’ll keep pursuing more information until I can’t procrastinate any longer. It’s annoying sometimes, but knowing this about myself means I can’t BS my way out of taking action. My brain tries to keep me stagnant because it hates change. Well, brain, tough luck—I’m doing it anyway!

Overcoming self-sabotage (resistance)

There are two tools I use to help clients push through their resistance to change. The first is reframing, and the second is a 5-step process. Let’s first discuss reframing.

Your brain sees your thoughts as facts, even when they’re complete BS. If you think to yourself, “I don’t have time to exercise.”, guess what? You won’t have time, and your brain will highlight all the reasons why you can’t make the time because it wants your thoughts to be fact. It’s called confirmation bias.

Now that you’re aware (see above) that those thoughts are just resistance, when they arise, you can reframe them. Here’s an example:

“I don’t have time to exercise.” → “I make time for the things that are important to me.”

As soon as that first thought arises, dismiss it and bring to mind your new belief/thought. Then take action, which will reinforce the new identity/habit. Taking action leads us into the next tool: My 5-step process to overcoming resistance.

Here are the steps:

1. Become aware of the pattern: When the resistance arises, call it out for what it is—your brain trying to keep you safe and efficient.
2. Thank your brain for trying to keep you safe: This step might feel silly, but I promise it’s necessary. Thank your brain for being so aware and on it, but tell it you don’t need protection in this instance. You are safe.
3. Break it down: Whatever the task is, break it down into the SMALLEST steps you can. If it’s exercising in the AM, your action step is to lay out your clothes and pick the routine before you go to bed. Small steps trick your brain into forward momentum.
4. Reconnect with your why/identity: This is important. Why are you wanting to exercise/eat healthy/etc.? To have the energy to play with your kids? To feel well? To be able to enjoy your life? Who do you want to become and why?
5. Take action: Do the small action you came up with in step 3. Commit. This will reinforce that you are the person who does whatever habit you’re trying to create.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Now, it’s your turn

If you’re someone who thrives with “homework,” here are your next steps. Go grab a journal, set a timer for 15 minutes, and write a response to this question:

“How does resistance show up for me?”

Once you’ve identified your key patterns, it’s time to reframe them. Create new statements that align with who you want to be and what you want to do.

Lastly, grab the journal again and free-write on all the perceived obstacles (your patterns) and how you can overcome them. For example, if making time is an issue, free-write on all the ways you can begin to make time. Maybe it’s delegating tasks to others, changing your priorities, getting up earlier, etc.

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You’ve done an amazing job getting through this blog and taking steps towards overcoming resistance and self-sabotage. Remember, it’s all about recognizing your patterns, reframing your thoughts, and taking small, consistent actions.

If you’re looking for more support and actionable steps to nourish yourself first, I invite you to join my Nourish Yourself First challenge. It’s a 10-day journey packed with daily tasks designed to help you feel your best and stay on track.

Ready to take the next step? Sign up for the challenge and let’s tackle those obstacles together!