A few weeks ago I finished up a novel that I can’t seem to shake – Matchmaking for Beginners by Maddie Dawson. Sometimes “book hangovers” make me miserable, but this one is more like a warm hug that won’t let go. In a nutshell it tells the story of 2 women whose paths cross, both making a lasting impact on one another. One character is an elderly lady who embodies everything I imagine a modern day “woo-woo”, witch-y lady, or eccentric “love all” types would grow into. Her name is Blix and she is probably one of favorite book characters of the past few years.
I didn’t agree with all of her choices or even some of her wisdom, but one piece of advice she gives to Marnie (the other main character who is much younger) has become one of my daily mantras.
I’m not really sure I can put into words the way this statement makes me feel, but I’m going to try. So much of our lives are spent resisting the current moment or worrying about the next. We don’t like our bodies, we don’t believe in our capabilities at work, we think the people we follow on Instagram have it so much better than us. We believe if we just made more money, found the right partner, bought a new house, or reached some external goal that we would finally be happy. We believe that joy, love, and fulfillment awaits us if we could only cross that damn finish line.
Not only that, but we also worry about all the possible outcomes each one of our choices could bring. We nervously await bad news, so much so that we loose the ability to see the joy that exists right in front of us.
Hard moments serve a purpose too. They suck. They are painful. They fill us with dread and heartache, but they also remind us of what it is we don’t want.
My experience with postpartum anxiety and depression sucked. It sucked a year later when Mike (my husband) dealt with his own bout of depression, one that I worried he wouldn’t find his way back from. Those moments in time were so hard but I’m grateful for them now. They showed us that we CAN overcome hard things. They showed us the importance of taking care of ourselves and each other.
Those experiences led us to where we are today. I’m not trying to tell you that you need to love every bad experience that ever happens to you; what I’m saying is that no matter what happens there is love and growth to be found. You can hate the current moment while also embracing everything it brings.
I do my damndest to not fight my current reality anymore. I’m far from perfect. I fret over the boys, worry about the success of my business, the health of my parents, how I look in my bathing suit, all the things. But the difference is that I’m constantly reminding myself that there is love and joy to be found in every situation. That whatever the future brings, I can handle it. That whatever happens, I’ll be able to love it (well maybe not immediately 😉).
So what’s the takeaway? If you’re like me and get stuck worrying about the future, then maybe this mantra will help you too. I say it to myself daily, I’ve written on post-it notes in my office, and I share it with friends as often as I can. Ultimately the goal for my business, my mission and purpose, is to teach other women how to enjoy their current moments more often too.
Oh, and go read the book! I’d love to know if you do – send me a DM on Instagram and let me know what you thought.