Routines. Your lifeline as a parent of small children, they make getting through the day doable. Kids thrive knowing what to expect every single day plus there’s the added benefit of helping set their circadian rhythm. I mean, that’s the whole point of reading the books, doing the back rubs, checking for monsters, you get the idea.

Did you know that routines have just as big of an impact for you too? Not only do you get the benefits above, but they’re also key to building new habits. I often get asked how to squeeze in self-care when you’re a busy AF mom and the answer is routine. If you don’t mindfully carve out time for yourself, put it on your calendar, and honor the time-block, then it never happens.

Two of my favorite ways to leverage routines for self-care and habit formation are at morning and bedtime.

Morning Routine

Getting up even 10-20 minutes before your kids can change your life. You may be thinking “Morning routine! She cannot be serious, I have 2 toddlers who wake up at the crack of dawn and I need my sleep.” Hear me out.

Waking up when your kids are screaming engages your fight/flight mechanism. Cortisol (the stress hormone) should already be at its peak in the AM, you don’t need the extra adrenaline. Add in coffee and you have yourself a perfect storm of agitation and low blood sugar, not a great way to get started.

At a minimum, 10 minutes can change the entire tone of your day. I’m sure you’ve heard the adage “your cup must be full before you can pour into others”. The morning routine is where you start. Fuel your body and mind, incorporate movement, and think through your daily schedule.

Here are some ideas:

• Hydrate before you caffeinate! Drink a big glass of water upon waking
• Move to the couch and do 1 minute of deep breathing
• Follow that by some gentle stretching
• Read a few pages of an inspiring book and/or pull an oracle card for the day
• Journal for 5 minutes by braindumping the to-do list and get all of your anxious thoughts out on paper
• And so many more…

How do you work it in when your kids don’t reliably sleep? Just do your best. Go to bed 10 minutes earlier so you can wake up. Take those 10 minutes for yourself once the baby goes down for nap #1 or trade-off morning duties with your partner. The important thing is that you’re investing in yourself, it’s okay if it’s not at the same time each day or right upon waking, which brings me to option #2, bedtime.

Bedtime Routine:

I’m a realist, I know having a morning routine won’t work for everyone (I’m looking at you moms of early risers). The important part is that you’re carving out time each day for yourself, it doesn’t matter when it happens, hence bedtime.

Reserve 20 minutes at the end of the day to do your skincare, journal, read, listen to a podcast, meditate, or whatever else your heart desires. Scheduling time for yourself before sleep also has the added benefit of helping you wind down and tells your body to start producing melatonin. My one stipulation is that your bedtime routine cannot involve screens (other than a Kindle) within an hour of getting into bed.

Here’s what my current bedtime routine entails:

• Put kids to bed at 7:30pm
• About an hour of free-time (I either read my Kindle, watch TV, hang with Mike, or Zoom with my friends)
• Take nighttime supplements
• Shower or bath
• Skincare
• Read (I usually read fiction but sometimes I’ll grab non-fiction when I need to fall asleep fast)
• Sleep

And that’s it. I look forward to my bedtime routine every single day. It acts as a reset and a much needed break from my thoughts.

There are tons of other ways you can leverage routines to get in more self-care (meal planning is my other favorite), but morning and bedtime are the easiest places to start. Pick whichever one feels doable to you and go from there. Remember it doesn’t have to be long, 10 minutes is enough to change the tone of your entire day or clear your mind before you go to sleep at night.

Need more ideas? Download my free “Nourish Yourself First Checklist” to kickstart your morning routine. And as always, if you have questions hit me up on Instagram or email amber@amberdawnwellness.com.